Human nature tells us that we want to be seen, known, understood, and belonged. Rightfully so, who doesn’t want those things?

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It is those things that make relationships hard to maintain. Relationships are the most complicated, complex, and consistent work we have to do in our lives. Whether it is couples, parents and children, or families, we all come into a relationship with our own beliefs and values which guide decision making. However, our values are not the only aspect of a relationship that must be considered.

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Our values guide us in the relationship process, but intention and communication are often the major cornerstones of maintaining healthy relationships. Yes, communication is no walk in the park. Because no one teaches us how to specifically communicate through conflict, it's our own experiences that become our best teachers. These experiences wire our brain to think a certain way about communication. Unfortunately, it's then we realize our own experiences are not enough.

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How can we show up different in relationship with someone else and not be defensive?
How can I express my needs without fear of escalation?
When is the best time to speak about the relationship I am in?
What do I need to understand about my partner (parent, child, etc)?

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The truth is we all have triggers. We all have things that create some arousal whether it’s stress, anxiety, fear, or worry. However, triggers are not the problem to a successful relationship, they are actually part of the solution. Understanding and being accountable for our own triggers is the first step to a healthy relationship.

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In my therapy practice, I will work with you as an individual or group to set the intentions, actions, and perceptions of communication within the relationship. After identifying your goals and values, I will implement a personalized solution for you. Healthy relationships are about understanding that communication requires us to be compassionate and mindful about who we are and who we are speaking to. When we understand our own triggers and the triggers of others, we can step into a place of curiosity and compassion. With accountability and responsibility, you will learn to move forward within a healthy relationship that makes space for the right time to communicate, negotiate, and compromise. 

There is the right way to communicate, and there is the correct time to communicate in developing healthy relationships. As you learn more about yourself through growing self-awareness, self-compassion, and mindfulness, you will be able to execute the work you need to do in order to improve unhealthy relationships in your life.